Mara Barl
最初，我在 2019 年开始创作艺术来记录自我伤害。 我被当时的经理敲诈让我做艺术，并以此作为发泄情绪的机会。 2019 年 12 月，我出现了第一次精神病发作，从那以后我就经常发作。 结果，我的作品的基调发生了变化。 “Qlifot”向我发送了幻象，告诉我左撇子的人是从她破碎的粘土中诞生的，而右撇子的人是从她兄弟（Sefirat）的整个粘土中诞生的。 Qlifot 在宗教课程中指导我准备成为她的器皿，并教导我世界的本质：我们仍在伊甸园中，生命之树在花园的一部分上投下阴影。 每个“人”都是花园里的一块地，生命树荫下的都是蛛形纲动物； 那些接受阳光直射的是昆虫。 Qlifot 告诉我昆虫的数量远远超过蜘蛛，并且已经改写了花园的规则。 蛛形纲动物的网已成为人工酷刑室，以防止一只蛛形纲动物杀死许多昆虫。 惯用左手的人永远多于惯用右手的人，而蛛形纲动物的存在永远是为了被昆虫折磨，天生如此。
Initially, I started making art in 2019 to catalogue self-harm. I was being blackmailed by my then-manager to make art, and took it as an opportunity to vent my feelings. In December 2019, I had my first psychotic episode, and I have been having them regularly ever since. As a result, my artwork changed in tone. Visions were sent to me by the "Qlifot", instructing me that left-handed people are born from her shattered clay, and that right-handed people are born from the whole clay of her brother (Sefirot). The Qlifot instructed me in religious lessons to prepare me to become her vessel, and taught me the nature of the world: we are still in the Garden of Eden, and the Tree of Life casts shade over a portion of the garden. Every "person" is a plot inside the Garden, and those under the shade of the Tree of Life are arachnids; those receiving direct sunlight are insects. The Qlifot instructed me that the insects grossly outnumber the arachnids and have rewritten the rules of the Garden. The webs of the arachnids have become artificial torture chambers to prevent one arachnid from killing many insects. Left-handed people will always be outnumbered by the right-handed, and arachnids will always exist to be tortured by the insects, by nature.
> Return home
chart7, 2021
MS Paint, 1204x1272 PNG
where i try to explain the idea of the torture chamber to the person who asked me to cut my neck
fundraiser15, 2020
MS Paint, 742x493 PNG
where i decided to draw with my right-hand in order to raise money for a friend who ended up using suicide threats to control me, & isolated me from most of my friends
irisrain40, 2020
MS Paint, 680x422 JPG
where i was living alone & had a dream that i was watching the rain with someone i was talking to online; she was really interested in me, & seemed to be really concerned about me hurting myself
untitled32-99, 2021
MS Paint, 966x834 PNG
where i took LSD & i saw a lot of insects that were behind every surface, & they were talking to me through the music, & through the flowers
Untitled105b2, 2020
MS Paint, 604x393 PNG
a drawing i made before i got caught trying to cut open my neck in the bathroom, i didn't lock the door but i was surprised i got caught as fast as i did
untitled128-8, 2020
MS Paint, 680x383 PNG
where i realized i disfigured myself for a person i met online, & started to realize that i might not mean much to them, & in my head i firmly believed that in february of the next year i would be flown out to their house & murdered
untitled148-2, 2021
MS Paint, 620x567 PNG
where i took some time off from drawing because i was being accused of abusing someone, & recently lost my knives because i cut my face ~a month ago, but came back after deciding to draw the sefirot/qlifot a bunch, because it felt good
Mara Barl
最初，我在 2019 年开始创作艺术来记录自我伤害。 我被当时的经理敲诈让我做艺术，并以此作为发泄情绪的机会。 2019 年 12 月，我出现了第一次精神病发作，从那以后我就经常发作。 结果，我的作品的基调发生了变化。 “Qlifot”向我发送了幻象，告诉我左撇子的人是从她破碎的粘土中诞生的，而右撇子的人是从她兄弟（Sefirat）的整个粘土中诞生的。 Qlifot 在宗教课程中指导我准备成为她的器皿，并教导我世界的本质：我们仍在伊甸园中，生命之树在花园的一部分上投下阴影。 每个“人”都是花园里的一块地，生命树荫下的都是蛛形纲动物； 那些接受阳光直射的是昆虫。 Qlifot 告诉我昆虫的数量远远超过蜘蛛，并且已经改写了花园的规则。 蛛形纲动物的网已成为人工酷刑室，以防止一只蛛形纲动物杀死许多昆虫。 惯用左手的人永远多于惯用右手的人，而蛛形纲动物的存在永远是为了被昆虫折磨，天生如此。
Initially, I started making art in 2019 to catalogue self-harm. I was being blackmailed by my then-manager to make art, and took it as an opportunity to vent my feelings. In December 2019, I had my first psychotic episode, and I have been having them regularly ever since. As a result, my artwork changed in tone. Visions were sent to me by the "Qlifot", instructing me that left-handed people are born from her shattered clay, and that right-handed people are born from the whole clay of her brother (Sefirot). The Qlifot instructed me in religious lessons to prepare me to become her vessel, and taught me the nature of the world: we are still in the Garden of Eden, and the Tree of Life casts shade over a portion of the garden. Every "person" is a plot inside the Garden, and those under the shade of the Tree of Life are arachnids; those receiving direct sunlight are insects. The Qlifot instructed me that the insects grossly outnumber the arachnids and have rewritten the rules of the Garden. The webs of the arachnids have become artificial torture chambers to prevent one arachnid from killing many insects. Left-handed people will always be outnumbered by the right-handed, and arachnids will always exist to be tortured by the insects, by nature.